Me x Five!!!! - Item #2 - Sisters

There is no better friend than a sister. And there is no better sister than you. ~Author Unknown

I was delighted, if not surprised at Dana's request and association of me with "Sisters". My world is surrounded by my sisters, blood related, and those by circumstance. All of which I cannot imagine my life without.

I am the eldest of six children, 4 girls, 2 boys. And for the past 36 years of our existence, us Johnson Girls have always stuck together. With the exception of my sister Stacey, who was born when I was just two-years old, and due to a heart condition did not come home for months, and whom I believed was a breast pump, I remember with great detail the raising of my sisters. Although as a two-year old I wasn't much of a help in raising Stacey, boy do I have memories with this girl. My parents have mounds of movies of the two of us. Stacey always following my lead, or trying to do what I do. And the little stinker that I was, always found a way to take advantage of that. For instance, a certain Easter Egg hunt in our front yard. As Stacey would find her eggs and put them in her basket, I would sneak up behind her and steal them out. Nice! As we grew older, we always shared a room with one another, and I'm quite certain that Stacey's now insomnia problems have a lot to do with my sleepwalking and nightmares that would keep us both up every night! Nothing like flapping your sister of your king sized water bed out of complete terror! I believe that Stacey was always forced to follow in my lead, but fortunately she has found her own way in life! She is the devotee of our family and takes joy in all our lives.

Miss Hayley was the apple of everyone's eye back in the day. I loved dressing her up and taking care of her like nobody's business. I would love to dress her in her beautiful yellow silky gown and put a bow in her little hair and prop her in front of the back door so that Dad would run right into her when he got home from work. Hayley was so photogenic and I loved all the pictures that we would have taken of her. Somehow Jett always managed to destroy her beautiful pictures by gauging out the eyes, coloring them with white-out, etc. And she is just as beautiful and photogenic today as she was as a baby! The camera loves my sister, and she loves the camera!

And Miss Samantha...my baby sis! She was so gorgeous with her beautiful brunette hair and big brown eyes. And she was so obedient. Never fussed or cried about anything. She was a perfect baby sister. I couldn't get enough of her when she was brought home from the hospital. I loved playing dress-up with her as well, with Purple being my favorite color to put on her. She has grown up to be even more beautiful as a woman, and I love my baby sis with all my heart! I love her laugh, her love of children, and disciplinary skills I might add, and I love the many things that we obsess over together. I love to laugh and cry with her...always will!

As we grew up, so many wonderful times were to be had. Hayley and Samantha were always coming to my dorm to spend the night, and once I was married, staying over with me at the house was always a treat. Especially when Cyd and Chasers were born. My kids have the best aunts in the world.

As we have all come into our own, and as our lives have all evolved into their own stories, we have always remained close. Through the good and the bad, the fights and disagreements, the laughter and the crying, I know that my sisters are always there for me. We share everything with one another, and I love this part of our lives more than the times when they were all babies. I love that when life is falling apart my sisters are there for me, and vice versa. I love the associations we all have and the joy we receive in our commonalities. We have all bonded over our love for our family, and that of our growing family. We take joy in one another's successes, and sorrow with one another's failures. I love my sisters with all my heart and can't imagine a life without them.

A sister is a forever friend. ~Author Unknown

With all the blessings I have been given in my lifetime, my friends are counted at the top of my list. Because these friends that I have, are all sisters to me. Sometimes in ways, my own blood sisters have not been able to. These other "sisters" have come in the shape of my dear cousin(s), and of course the many special "sisters from another mother!" We all have friends that come and go throughout our lives, but those who stick with you no matter what, they are not just your friends, they truly are your sisters.

I look back over the years of my life, and every major occurrence has been shared with the love of my other "sisters". These sisters of mine, I know will be in my life now and forever. They know all there is to know of me, and yet they still remain devoted. We have shared school, work, love, heartache, weddings, births of our children, death of our loved ones...all making our sistership bond as tight as it can be. These sisters have saved my life on more than one occasion. I pray as YOU read this, you will know who you are and that I am speaking of you. And I hope that you will know what a kindred spirit you are to me. I love you and I thank you for being my sister.

You are my Sister by Chance, My Best Friend by Choice...Author Unknown

Of course growing up with sisters, I have always wanted to have at least two daughters. When Cydnee was born I was so excited for the possibility of her having a sister of her own. Though the Lord blessed me with two beautiful boys...I was never given the chance to get Cyd her sister. That is until I married Chris. Now I have a beautiful step-daughter, and Cydnee has a wonderful older sister! Not exactly how I imagined coming about a sister for her, but perfect nonetheless. Cyd and Abbie have been together now for over six years, and are getting to share all the great things of being a sister that I did growing up with mine. With them coming into their teen years it scares me in today's world what they may be sharing, but I am glad they are sharing regardless. I love seeing them becoming closer and becoming better friends. I love my girls! I love raising them, as difficult as it is at times. And I hope and pray that they will grow to love one another as I have my sisters!

Is this what it feels like????

So I'm feeling a little funky! I feel like Bill Murray in Ground Hog's Day repeating my days exactly the same way, every day! I'm losing track of time and yet the week just won't end!!!!

Jaxon has been home all week sick, and today I started feeling not so well myself. So every day this week has been the same routine. He comes and gets in bed with me in the morning after poking me ever so gently with ONE finger and then gets in my face and asks me if I want to "have snuggles with him?" The kid knows how to pull on mom's sleepy heart-strings! My alarm will go off, I awake myself from my slumber that has just been achieved, considering that I am not asleep, EVER before 2 or 3 in the morning, and I "try" to be a mom to Cydnee and see her off to school. But this week I have pretty much sucked at that. In fact today, I felt so crappy that she was left to take care of herself completely! The rest of my days have looked exactly the same as well. Jaxon and I crawl out of bed, I roll myself and my two computers to the living room couch and it's off to work land I go. Jaxon sits next to me doing his "letters", a dry-erase alphabet book that he cannot get enough of, we watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episodes over and over and over, and eventually we get through the morning and lunch time is upon us. Once lunch time is over, the routine begins again and continues until 3:00 when my afternoon of picking-up and dropping off kids from school and to dance begins for the next five hours! And yeah, I will catch some episodes of my daily DVR fixes at the end of the evening, put the kids to bed, and somewhere around Midnight, I'm left all alone, sitting on the couch, thinking to myself, WTF? I fall asleep, I sleep for a few hours, and that little single-fingered poke gets me again, and it starts all over!

It doesn't stop. The constant worrying chatter in my head. Every day, every hour, every minute. I've got 1000 conversations going in my head, and I'm ready to explode. I know I'm not alone in this. I know I'm not the only person in the world with struggles. I know I'm not the only person with Financial struggles and facing severe issues. I know I'm not the first blended family, nor the first step-mom in the world. I know I'm not the only person out there dealing with polygamists...okay well maybe I am, at least in my circle of friends. I know I'm not the first mom with a son with ADHD and anxiety disorders. I'm not the first mom with a daughter who seems to be deaf and incapable of doing anything that I need her to during these pre-menstrual times! Seriously, is she ever going to start and relieve us all of this drama???? I know I'm not the only person out there with family drama that never seems to go away! I know I'm not the only woman out there constantly feeling badly about the way she looks, how fat she is, and all that self-loathing bit that we do. I know I'm not the only one who thinks, Wow, I should probably not feed my kid pop tarts and Caprisuns all day long! Oh wait, I probably am the only one who does that, because any of you reading this, I KNOW are better mom's than me! ;-) I get it! However right now, I'm just ready to throw my hands in the air, walk away, throw the towel in, put a fork in it, all that jazz. I'm done! I just need some sanity and peace. I need to feel for just a short time that my life is not going to Hell in a Handbasket!

It's alright to have a meltdown right? I'm not the only doing that either right?Maybe this is all because I really hate being 36? I have never hated my age until this year. I really and truly hate being 36. I feel like I've just crossed over into senior-citizenship! I hate it!

Is this what a midlife crisis feels like?I mean, I'm not out buying a luxury car, or looking for a sexy young boyfriend. I am experimenting more with my hair color, much to the delight of my hairdresser! So how do you know? How do you know if you're there? If you're having that mid-life crisis, or just plain losing your mind? Do you think Barnes & Noble has some books on this?

Yeah, Nat's needing some help here! Maybe next week while I'm in Washington, I'll pop on by the Whitehouse and see if President Obama can come up with a stimulus plan for my crisis! (Sorry to all my democratic friends...I couldn't help myself!)